It took me 3 and 1/2 years to remarry again. I cannot begin to express the fear I had of doing it again. The fear came from a place of just not knowing, not knowing what the future holds. Which actually goes against what I believe. The woman I married…Suzann, I can honestly say that I love all of her. It took a lot of patience and acceptance. The first year of our relationship was on and off because I would get scared, or I would judge, or judge motives. It was not in my nature to judge, I can only say that it came from fear. There are but two feelings, fear and Love. I spent the first year and a half in fear. When I finally stepped back and stopped judging, I began to live in a place of Love. Do fears creep in from time to time, yes they do. When I am in a place of Love my words are very different. I do my best to speak from a place of Love, Kindness, and Compassion. As all the rest of us, I am still human and will always strive to be a better human than the day before, more importantly, I will learn from my mistakes, because I will always make them. Last time I checked I was not Buddha, Muhammed, Allah, or Jesus.
This is a poem I wrote to my fiance, the day I proposed.
For my wife to be…Suzann
To the woman, the only one I see, the one who is most beautiful to me
Don’t be scared, don’t be afraid, do not fear to be who you are meant to be
I love you, all of you, I promise to love you, and you that has yet to be
Your uneasy feelings of being in a place you have never been, never seen, never felt, allow them to be
Do not fear the unknown, only know that all has lead to where you are supposed to be, that is here with me
I am proud of the woman that has grown, ups and downs, we all have them
We all grow when given a chance, the Universe has kept us together, not by happenstance
Do not be afraid to let love in, to let love out.
Just know at the end of the day, Love is all there really is, and have no doubt
As an individual you are good, and so am I, both of us together can reach for the sky
I have given you all of me, and I ask the same in return
For I will not judge the scars and the burns, we all have them, they were simply there to help us learn
I Love you woman with every fiber of my being, and I know and feel the same I am seeing
I will not leave your side, I will not stand behind, and I will not stand in front
But very soon I will be at your side, me as your groom, and you as my bride
I am humbled, honored, and proud to have you in my life.
My Love for you will never stop growing even after you become my wife
All my Love to you, only you and always you, Ken