I have come to understand the importance of silence, not only while alone, but also with another, in my case my wife. I am a thinker, an analyzer, an observer, basically speaking I sometimes mistake the silence for there being something wrong. At least that what my overactive brain tells me. It is in these moments when I must shut my brain off and open my heart.
When I am active in my head I tend to assume that there must be something wrong. That in turn leads to questions, and the answers to those questions are never fully satisfied in the moments of silence. When I just listen to the silence with my heart, it in turn has no questions, no judgement, no assumptions. It is in these moments of quiet with my heart open that I must respect the other persons wishes to do so. Their reasons are varied, however, when it is stated to just be, just be in silence, and when I respect her wishes, that is when I feel closest at that moment with my wife. There are times when that is the only way to just slow down while in the presence of another. Sitting closely, holding hands, and just being. Being present without words spoken.
This is something that I actually struggle with. I often have questions to which I just need the answers to. Sometimes the questions are trivial, sometimes not. I am learning that silence, and I mean the comfortable type, is just ok. Where I need to be a bit more understanding is when another has had an extremely long week, talking all week, and listening to another persons woes, just does not feel like talking, or answering lots of questions for that matter.
On the other hand, when I genuinely respect the silence, it is reciprocated in many other ways. Sitting together even closer, holding each other, with the occasional gentle kiss with an even deeper loving look into my eyes. I have found that there is nothing quite like it. I have come to the realization that the deepest connection between two people happens when there are no words used at all.
I chose to write about my humanness, because I am far from perfect. One thing I do try and do is learn from these little lessons in life that teach me to be a better listener, a better husband, and a better friend. When I fail to recognize my faults and flaws, and more importantly, own them, then I have become unteachable. I must always be willing to take a look in the mirror, and remain teachable.
So what did I really learn from all this? Silence and quiet are just as important as communication. Words can tend to cloud our feelings and emotions, if not alter them all together. It is in this silence where the most tender of moments can be felt, experienced, and cherished with the heart. Tonight I am grateful for the moments of silence uncomplicated with words.